Shrek the Halls

Shrek the Halls is a Christmas special that premiered on November 28th 2007.

Shrek

• I have to make a Christmas, and I have no idea what it is or how to do it.
• The tree goes inside the house?
• [turns to Gingy] Excuse you for what?
• Oh, Puss, not you too.
• Alright, everybody, if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic!
• So, despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times,-- Yes, Donkey, I'm looking at you. --it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us.
• Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night!

Donkey

• Merry Christmas, Shrek!
• How are you gonna have Christmas without your family?
• My mom used to always say: "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries". Usually, that someone's me [sniffles]
• [laughs] They got you good, Shrek! [snow dumps on him] Hey! That wasn't even funny. Who did that?

Princess Fiona

• This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. And we're going to do it together, so come on. [pulls Shrek's arm]
• They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well.
• I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends. [walks away with the babies in her arms]

Puss in Boots

• Okay, I will assume the position. [gets himself tortured by the ogre babies]
• In my homeland, we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. He's not made of waffles.
• I have shamed myself. [jumps off the chair]
• Boss, there's no right way to do Christmas, you just do it.

Gingy

• [talking to an angel-shaped cookie] Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven?
• Aw, phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare!
• ...until they got home, when they looked at the car door handle and they found...A HOOK!
• Stop, drop, and roll, Shrek!
• Santa?! AAAAAAHH!!! [slams the door]

Others

• Pinocchio: C'mon, everybody, let's DANCE!
• Big Bad Wolf: Apology accepted. Let's go eat.
• 3 Little Pigs: Ja, with schnitzel.

Dialogue

Gingy: Excuse me. Excuse me!

Shrek: Excuse you for what?

Gingy: I don't feel very good. [pukes a chocolate chip] Ah, I feel better now. [runs away]

Donkey: Ooh, a chocolate chip! [eats off the floor] Mm!

---

Gingy: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and the prettiest sights were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights. [his story unfolds] ...until they got home, when they looked at the car door handle and they found...A HOOK! [Suzie shrieks and he laughs]

Suzie: [her first words] Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin' me the creeps!

Gingy: Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. Come here, you.

Suzie: [giggles] Oh, Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you.

Gingy: [hears rustling noise] What was that?

Suzie: Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin' for that again.

Gingy: No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. [turns on headlights and sees a giant Santa Claus] Whoa!

Suzie: [her last words] Oh, Gingy!

[Santa makes Godzilla shriek, Gingy and Suzie panic as Santa reaches out and grabs Suzie]

Gingy: Oh! Suzie! [watches Suzie getting devoured] No! NO! NOOOOOO!!!

Donkey: [cuts off Gingy's story] That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Now, you know that's not how it goes!

Gingy: You weren't there!

Shrek: Alright, everyone, I've had just about enough. All I wanted was a nice Christmas, with MY family!

Donkey: And that's exactly why we're all here! Now, come on, let's finish telling my story!

Shrek: Oh, no, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair! [Accidentally drops Christmas for Village Idiots.]

Donkey: Hey, what's this?

Shrek: Donkey! Let go of the book!

Donkey: Why are you whispering?

Shrek: I'm not kidding Donkey, GIVE ME THE BOOK!!! [Accidentally throws Christmas for Village Idiots.]

---

[Shrek kicks everyone out after his house gets trashed.]

Shrek: OUT! I want everybody out of my house, RIGHT NOW!

Donkey: [screams as he's thrown out the door] Yeah, well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! And if you think I am gonna give you a present now, you are SADLY mistaken!

Shrek: You want to give me a present? Then go away! That's all I wanted!

Donkey: Fine! I'm going!

Shrek: Good! Then go!

Donkey: You go and have yourself a Merry Christmas! [runs away then comes back] Ebenezer Shrek! [runs away again]

Shrek: And a "bah, humbug" to you, too!

---

Donkey: I don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. We were tryin' what you wanted us to do.

Fiona: What're you talking about?

Donkey: What you said this morning. You and Shrek wanted to have a big, noisy family Christmas.

Fiona: No, I said it was our first Christmas together as a family.

Donkey: Right. That's me and everybody else. Then he lost his temper like that.

Fiona: You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted.

Puss in Boots: I must agree with the Princess. [to Donkey] And you, were no Christmas angel.

Donkey: I don't remember askin' you anything!

Fiona: Donkey.

Donkey: I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. Even still, Shrek didn't have to be so...

Shrek: What? [Donkey screaming and Puss shrieking] Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? So here's the thing. I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. No, wait. What I meant to say is I know you're just trying to be helpful in your irritating fashion...

Puss in Boots: Ay, caramba!

Shrek: Some people can't help being annoying.

Fiona: Shrek!

Shrek: Look, I shouldn't have lost my temper back there.

Wolf: Apology accepted. Let's eat.

Donkey: Wait a minute. There's somethin' more to this. Come on, what's goin' on?

Shrek: Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, but I don't even know what Christmas means. The thing is, this is my first Christmas too.

Donkey: Hold up, Shrek! You mean that you never had...

Shrek: No.

Puss in Boots: Not even one?

Shrek: No!

Donkey: You mean no chestnuts, no Santa, no presents, no stockings? No nut cakes?!

Shrek: Donkey! No, none of that. Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. Ogres don't celebrate anything.

Donkey: Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. Come here, gimme a hug!

Shrek: All right, that's close enough.

Donkey: OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe and everything, and I forgot that it's... It's about us all bein' together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek.

Shrek: I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight.

Donkey: Christmas is all about big fights. My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." Usually that someone's me.

Puss in Boots: There is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it.

Pigs: Ja, with schnitzel!

Pinocchio: And eggnog!

Mices: And cheese!

Fiona: And family.

Shrek: Yeah. And family. So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you, it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us.

Cast

• Mike Myers as Shrek
• Eddie Murphy as Donkey
• Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona
• Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots
• Conrad Vernon as Gingy
• Cody Cameron as Pinocchio and Three Little Pigs
• Aron Warner as Big Bad Wolf
• Christopher Knights as Three Blind Mice
• Miles Christopher Bakshi, Nina Zoe Bakshi, and Dante James Hauser as Farkle, Fergus, & Felicia
• Marissa Jaret Winokur as Bookstore Clerk
• Gary Trousdale as Santa Claus

External links

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